Time Heals All Wounds

Dear friends,

There's a saying that time heals all wounds. It's only true if you actually treat the wound properly.
Imagine that you've sliced your hand, and now there's a huge gash. If you left it open without cleaning it or covering it, it would become infected and become much worse. It's only after you've taken the time and the steps to ensure the wound closes safely that it is able to begin the healing process.

Your heart is the same way. If you don't take the time and put forth the energy to help your broken heart mend, all of the pain you feel will continue and you will become infected with bitterness and hate.

I know first hand what it is like to hold on too long and allow my broken heart to turn me into the thing that I hate. It's so much harder trying to get rid of that infection than it would have been to prevent it in the first place.

No one likes pouring the peroxide on their open wound, sometimes you just have to kill the germs that lead to infection.

Anyway...

Thirty, Flirty and Thriving!

Dear Friends,

I have a definition for you.

a·dult  

/əˈdəlt/

Noun A person who is fully grown or developed.

Adjective (of a person or animal) Fully grown or developed.

Synonyms noun.   grown-up - major adjective.   grown-up - grown - mature - full-grown - big - ripe

What the definition doesn't say is that once you reach the "adult" status, life as you knew it is gone.
Days of Barbie dolls and make believe are out, and long work days and aching feet are in.

When you are a kid, growing up seems like the coolest thing in the world. You want to be taller, and wiser, and you want to be everything that the grown-ups get to be. At least, that is how I was. The idea of being thirty years old was such an exciting event. I'd be lying if I said that I still wasn't looking forward to it, but it's all different now.

The thing is, people tell you not to grow up too quickly. "Don't rush it," said every adult that I have ever known. And I finally understand. I may not be thirty years old, but I am not a kid anymore. It is such a bittersweet realization. I wish that I would have listened to all the annoying adults who told me not to worry so much and enjoy my childhood.

I have this stupid idea that once I am thirty, I will know who I am. I will be comfortable in myself and with my life and I will finally be at peace. I know that this is a silly idea, but I am holding on to it. The reality of being twenty-three years old and completely lost is terrifying.

I miss Barbies and not having to file taxes and worry about insurance.
I need a time machine hot tub.... or a hot tub to ease my work-broken back.

Here's to growing up and hoping that someday, we will have it easy.

Just Leave the Pieces When You Go

Dear Friends,

It seems to be fact that when you love someone and let them into your life, they will forever have a little piece of your heart. No matter how hard you try to forget the person or ignore the stinging pain in your chest that faintly resembles being sliced with a knife, you just can't.

I can't speak for everyone, but when I fully allow someone to penetrate my heart, I can't just let it go. I wish that I wasn't this way. I wish that I could just dust away memories and sweep up the lingering feelings, but I have never been all that great at cleaning up my messes.

We all have those days when we think of past relationships. Whether it be with a romantic partner, a friendship or a deceased loved one. The memories that rush into our brains seem to surround us and suffocate all sense of rational thinking. You miss that person. You don't know if you will have a connection again with another human soul. And you just break your heart all over again.

It's been this way for me the past couple of days. I've been having these dreams about this person who used to be a friend. Someone that I confided in. As much as it breaks my heart that there is no longer a friendship, I can honestly say that the end of the friendship was probably the best thing that has happened to me. I find myself worrying about this friend and hoping for the best for them, but still have lingering bitterness that one day I will overcome.

You never know what you are fully capable of until you are faced with an impossible situation. Losing someone you love, whether it be by choice or it was taken from you, can change you. It can make you look at life in a completely new light. And while your emotions are on a roller coaster ride and your doubts and insecurities are storming about inside you, you will learn who you are.

Life can throw some crazy storms your way. Sometimes you get battered and bruised, and sometimes you can find shelter. It isn't fair, but who ever said that it was?

So while the rain is pouring in my life, I suppose I will get my little boat out and stay afloat. Better yet, I should probably learn how to row. At least that way, I can get myself to a better destination.

With love and hope that someday we will all be able to get over the things we can't forget.
xoxo

The Customer is Always Correct

Dear Friends,

I may not have mentioned before, but I have the pleasure of working in retail. I can't go into specifics because I could lose my job.

If you've ever worked retail, or any profession where you have to deal with the public, you will  know that this statement is 100% FALSE.

Whichever genius conjured up that lie, ought to be found and shook. I fully understand that employees make their fair share of mistakes, but I can guarantee that at least 80% of problems could be solved if people could learn to actually read a sign.

With that being said, I've compiled a list of other annoyances. Brace yourselves.

°self-checkout machines do not take away my job.
°If you do not like using computers, then let me not use my register and resort to using chalkboard and chalk. It will only take about five times longer.
°complaining about the cost will not make me lower the price for you.
°if we had every item in the back store room, it would be on the sales floor.
°why yes, yes I do love being your personal shopper even though that's not in my job description.
°I do know you hate the self-checkout machines. You've told me a million times. Wanna know what I hate? Your complaining. Especially seeing as I have no control.

This rant could go on and on, but my break is over.

Stay golden. :)

New Adventures of the Little New Me

Dear Friends, 

I've never been one for change. The word "change" usually leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. The funny thing about this inevitable thing that we know as change, is that it happens and you have no choice but to adjust. 

I found out a little over two months ago that my family's home was no longer ours. My parents are sickly and there simply wasn't enough money. I had two weeks to find somewhere else to go and live without the security of having my family with me. Until this point in my twenty-three years of life, I have been with my parents. Now they are a few miles away, and I have a lot to learn.

It's a difficult thing to go through for anyone. After about three weeks, and eating way too much junk food not to mention the six pounds that I gained while watching The Vampire Diaries and crying I am proud to say that I am on top of this situation.

Fast forward two months and here I am. I am adjusting and learning to face this great life that I have as an independent adult. I now need to learn how to keep myself organized and say "no" to that dress that I don't really, absolutely, positively need. 

Fashion is my comfort, kids. What can I say?

Welcome to my insanity.