Just Leave the Pieces When You Go

Dear Friends,

It seems to be fact that when you love someone and let them into your life, they will forever have a little piece of your heart. No matter how hard you try to forget the person or ignore the stinging pain in your chest that faintly resembles being sliced with a knife, you just can't.

I can't speak for everyone, but when I fully allow someone to penetrate my heart, I can't just let it go. I wish that I wasn't this way. I wish that I could just dust away memories and sweep up the lingering feelings, but I have never been all that great at cleaning up my messes.

We all have those days when we think of past relationships. Whether it be with a romantic partner, a friendship or a deceased loved one. The memories that rush into our brains seem to surround us and suffocate all sense of rational thinking. You miss that person. You don't know if you will have a connection again with another human soul. And you just break your heart all over again.

It's been this way for me the past couple of days. I've been having these dreams about this person who used to be a friend. Someone that I confided in. As much as it breaks my heart that there is no longer a friendship, I can honestly say that the end of the friendship was probably the best thing that has happened to me. I find myself worrying about this friend and hoping for the best for them, but still have lingering bitterness that one day I will overcome.

You never know what you are fully capable of until you are faced with an impossible situation. Losing someone you love, whether it be by choice or it was taken from you, can change you. It can make you look at life in a completely new light. And while your emotions are on a roller coaster ride and your doubts and insecurities are storming about inside you, you will learn who you are.

Life can throw some crazy storms your way. Sometimes you get battered and bruised, and sometimes you can find shelter. It isn't fair, but who ever said that it was?

So while the rain is pouring in my life, I suppose I will get my little boat out and stay afloat. Better yet, I should probably learn how to row. At least that way, I can get myself to a better destination.

With love and hope that someday we will all be able to get over the things we can't forget.
xoxo